When Love Hurts Us

Sometimes in life someone we really love and trust will do something so offensive or hurtful to us that it feels as if a brick had been smacked into our head. We didn’t see it coming; we can’t understand why it happened, but it did. The impact left us with a huge hole in our heart and it seems as if there is nothing that can take away the pain when love hurts us.

We cry non-stop while we try to comfort those around us; perhaps children who are hurting as much as we are and who are looking to us for the answers. But there aren’t any. We can’t see past the tears because our life has been torn apart. We don’t see hope and we focus on our loss.

This is just what the devil wants us to do; cry, focus on the hurt and talk about it all the time so that he can get all the praise and the glory for the hurt that he put on us by making this happen.  The more we focus on the hurt, the happier he is because he’s gained a bit of a foothold into the doorway of our soul.

This is NOT how we get the victory over our problems. The Bible says in James 4:7 to “resist the devil and he shall flee from you.” In other words, we need to stop talking about the problem, about what he’s done or what we think the results will be from this hurtful issue. We need to resist the negative talk, the negative thoughts, the negative attitude, and stop talking about the problem.

We need to turn our thoughts around and focus on Jesus. In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” The confusion, hurt, anger and lack of peace that overtakes us can keep the problem alive if we let it, but if we give it to the Lord, then He takes it from us and gives us peace. Once we have peace, we can begin to think more clearly.

He tells us in Psalms 46:10 to “Be still, and know that I am God“. He wants us to stop trying to figure it out ourselves, and stop worrying about what will happen. Remember that He is God, and that He is the creator of the world and God over the universe – and over the devil.  Jesus says in John 16:33 that He has overcome the world. He’s already given us the victory and all we have to do is realize it.

We need to remember that “nothing is impossible to God”, and that “all things are possible to those who believe.” We are able to cry out to the Lord and seek Him and ask for His help and His wisdom so that we can have the victory over the problem. We are able to give the issue to Him and trust Him to take care of it.

We are able to praise Him and thank Him for the victory, and know in our heart that God is on the scene.  He hears our prayers and He knows our heart AND He knows what is best for us. The answer may not always be the one we hoped for, but it will be the right one and we will be at rest. God knows our heart and He also knows what caused this person to do what they did. He will speak to them and through our prayers this person will listen, and our own hearts will be filled with forgiveness towards them.

And all we have to do is trust God, that He will “grant us the desires of our heart” because when it comes to love, Jesus is the expert! He knows that at times love hurts, but He has risen above that hurt and He has given us the victory over it. All we have to do is praise Him and thank Him and talk to others about what He is doing for us. And it all begins when we turn our focus away from the problem and on to Him because He loves us and He wants us to trust Him to give us the victory.

For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”  … Romans 8:15





4 thoughts on “When Love Hurts Us

  1. Hi,
    I read your article and can identify and agree with what you are saying, however, it takes time to get these scriptures working in your life. It is a process and that process comes through walking through the tears and anger that is inside of you, while you are trying to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. In my own life, I have become acquainted with many of the scriptures because I read the Bible daily, but the revelation of what I have read becomes reality only when it is spoken inside of my heart. It is at those times that I am able to rely upon the Word of God, because it is no longer a head thing. It is within my heart.
    I enjoyed reading and thinking about what you said.


  2. Hi Pat, I’m glad that you were blessed with this message, and I’m also glad that you wait on the Lord for answers and for His revelation to you. It is a process and it does take time, but that time is only limited to how desperate we are for His intervention. I know through experience that sometimes it takes a while and other times it doesn’t take that long because I’m totally focused on Him. Praise God that He is always here for us.


  3. “Be still and know that I am God,” is powerful counsel. Thanks for sharing it in this post. I’m also learning that to trust God means not trusting that which is not from God. We read in 21st Century Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, “When the curse of sickness or sin tempts you, cling steadfastly to God and Spirit’s idea. Allow nothing but Soul’s likeness to prevail in your thought. Do not let fear or doubt eclipse your clear sense and calm trust in Truth.”


    • I’m glad that you were blessed with this post and I thank you for your comment. However, I prefer to refer to Bible Scripture when I’m talking about God, so to support what I said, “Be still and know that I am God”, I will add Isaiah 53:5, ” But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”


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