We’ve all been there and we’ve all done it. We’ve said things that we wished later we hadn’t said. Our emotions overcame us and we spoke hurting words.

When we’re hurting inside and we can’t deal with the things that have come upon us, sometimes out of frustration we’ll shout out or speak words that are hurting and harmful. The sorrow within us takes over our own censors and we say things we wouldn’t normally say.

The tension and animosity that could stem from these trying times can be prevented when we can separate ourselves from the situation and turn to Jesus.

When We’re Hurting…

“I am feeble and severely broken; I groan because of the turmoil of my heart.” … Psalm 38:8.

We’re told in 1 Peter 5:7 to cast all our care upon Him because He cares for us. When we’re hurting we need to find ourselves a quiet, private place like a closet or a bathroom if we have to, so that we can honestly get alone with Jesus and talk to Him. We need to tell Him what we’re feeling and we need to seek after HIS peace.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” … Philippians 4:7.

Why? He’s omnipotent, so doesn’t He know what we’re going through? Yes, Jesus knows what we’re going through; in fact, He knew what we’d go through before it happened. But He wants us to WANT to talk to Him about it.

“Do not hide Your face from me; Do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; Do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation.” … Psalm 27:9

He won’t just invade our privacy and snap His fingers and say, “I’m here, let’s talk.” He will wait for us to invite Him to talk – “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart.” … Psalm 34:18.

And then He’ll stay with us and never leave us. – “…For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” … Hebrews 13:5.

When We’re Trying to Comfort Someone Who is Hurting…

We need to always focus on the love of Jesus, and when hurtful words are spoken by someone who is beside themselves with grief or pain, we need to just let it pass and NOT take it seriously. If we do, then we just add more unhappiness to a situation that’s already filled with grief and sorrow, and that can be quickly turned into one that’s led by hostility and anger.

Jesus tells us to pray for each other and help each other get through the hard times. Whether we’re praying for healing physically or emotionally, we need to lift each other up to Jesus and pray for HIS intervention, for HIS peace, for HIS healing.

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” … James 5:16

We aren’t told to be judges and get angry or condemn another person because they say something hurtful or cruel when they are hurting with a grief that is literally tearing their heart out. We need to be compassionate and help them through their sorrows by showing them the love of Jesus.

“And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” … Ephesians 5:2

If God judged us for every word that came out of OUR mouth when we were hurting, we would be in a very bad situation and our future might not be as bright as we think. But God judges our heart and He knows what we’re going through, so if HE can let the cruel words pass, then we should let them pass, as well.

“But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.” … 1 Timothy 6:11

The only way to get through these horrendous times of grief and sorrow is to turn to Jesus and let Him take the burden from us and give us His peace in return …. and then we can get past the hurting words.

“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” … Isaiah 40:31.